Category Archives: Celebs

Angelina, WTF?

Posted on by

Easiest question on earth, and you freeze up?  S’matta with you??  Feel free to skip to :31 to witness her completely choke under pressure and bomb an interview.

If you had only answered correctly, I would have maybe considered you as a spokesperson for thegoldfisherman.com, but no, you BLEW IT.  Good luck picking up the pieces of your career after this one, Angie.  God help you.

 

Breaking: The person who played Cindy in D3: The Mighty Ducks and Jogger in the 2004 TV special The Rutles 2: Can’t Buy Me Lunch gives her kid Goldfish crackers

Posted on by

Everyone STOP what you’re doing and read this immediately:

Samantha Harris’ mommy must-have? Goldfish crackers! “I love that the Goldfish [line] has whole grain [varieties] now, so I feel better about [my daughter, Josselyn] eating them,” she tells Us.

Just take that in and remember it because years from now when you have grandkids, they’re going to ask you about it when The Rutles 2 comes on and they see the woman jogging on the screen and ask you what you think she fed her kids as a healthy snack alternative in real life.  You’re welcome.

The Joy of Goldfish

Posted on by

Turns out Julia Child was a fellow Goldfishianado!  Legend has it that she would serve Goldfish as hors d’oeuvres at dinner parties.  Seriously, google “Julia Child Goldfish” and you’ll find a bunch of great stuff, including this excerpt from a “Recollections About Julia Child” page:

I showed my nine year-old son Julia’s kitchen this summer — in the Smithsonian, now — and said, “see that table… I sat there early one evening at her house in Cambridge. She poured a lovely German wine and asked if I wanted something to eat.”

“What’d she fix you?”

“Well, she went over to a bin that opened from the cabinet in the pantry – inside I could see it was lined with a plastic sack. She pulled out a big handful of those little goldfish crackers.”

“We supped on fish and a fine white wine at Julia’s that night.”

Lucky bastard!  I also read that after she passed away, there was a memorial in Boston where they served Goldfish in her honor.  When I go, I want to be cremated and have my remains stored in a Goldfish bag.

JK!

JK!

Since the 4th of July is tomorrow, why don’t you sit back and learn how to cook some beef:

New respect for Kelly Ripa

Posted on by

Apparently Kelly Ripa is a big fan of Goldfish and would never give them up:
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/celeb-foodies-20121110/25445

It turns out she is a filthy liar though!  For some insane, inexplicable reason, she gave up Goldfish for Lent.  Here’s a random interview I found on the intrawebz:
Is there a food you can’t keep in the house because you’ll eat it in one setting? I saw your tweet about Girl Scout cookies.

“You know Girl Scout cookies are only once a year. I don’t have a tremendous sweet tooth, so I’m great with keeping sweets, ice cream, and all of that.
My big downfall is, and I gave them up for Lent, Pepperidge Farm goldfish. Even in the giant gallon box, I will sit and eat them. And I stress eat them while I’m watching The Biggest Loser or American Idol or anything where someone is about to be eliminated. I just stuff my face with goldfish crackers!”
http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/04/21/fame-bites-kelly-ripa/

But thankfully, Lent is only temporary and she was excited to get her back to her fish, as per her tweeter:

Only 5 days till I’m back to my goldfish crackers! http://plixi.com/p/94033192
4:37 PM – 19 Apr 11

Prior to discovering this, I was pretty indifferent towards Kelly Ripa, but after reading that she eats out of the gallon box and stuffs her face with them, I have a whole new respect for her, despite her inexcusable mistake of giving them up.  Hopefully next year she gives up Lent for Lent.  Kelly, you can atone for your sins by having me on your show as a weekly segment where I cook up my Goldfish recipes.  Call me.