Well, I recently realized that my life until this point was a failure. I had been so blind to an idea so simple. But now I am embarking on a whole new world of deliciousness and I’d like to bring you all along for the ride:
It makes so much goddam sense that I’m questioning my intelligence for taking so long to think of it. Now if I can only convince the pizza guy to roll Goldfish into the crust as when he’s preparing the pie….
As sad as I was to bid adieu to my trusty steed of 15 years, my 1998 Ford Escort, I have to admit that I am truly enjoying the fancy features of my new car. I can now make the windows go up and down by pressing a button, pop the trunk from the inside of the car, and have both heat AND air conditioning.. welcome to 1950s luxury! The finest feature of all can be seen below though:
wait for it…
I paid an extra $85,000 for this feature, but how could I live without a Goldfish compartment??? More important than working brakes if you ask me. Now all I need is fingerprint identification locks for the compartment and I’ll be all set.