Recipe #2: Goldfish Meatballs

Wow, let me tell you, it took DAYS to count all the votes that came in for the meatballs vs mac n cheese recipe poll.  I may need some interns to help me with the next one.  I have to say though, I was a bit surprised that the meatballs won out by such a large margin.. they got twice as many votes than the mac n’ cheese!  Check out the poll results and see for yourself.

OK, so lets get started.  Here’s what you’ll need:

-A pound a’ meat
-A cup of blended Goldfish crumbs
-One egg
-A nice amount of parmesan cheese
-2 tablespoons of olive oil
-Marinara sauce (I went store-bought again)
-Salt and pepper
-Salt-N-Pepa playing in the background (most crucial)

Behold my 6 total inches of counter space!

Behold my 6 total inches of counter space!

First thing you’ll wanna do is preheat your oven to three-fitty.  Then slather 2 tablespoons of the olive oil on a baking sheet, spread it around, and shove it in the oven (I had a picture of me doing this, but do you really need to see that?). Next, crack an egg in a big bowl and beat it up and dump in the meat (I used ground beef, but you can use turkey or pork or horse or whatever the eff you want), dump in the Goldfish crumbs, and a nice big dash of parmesan, salt, and pepper.  I didn’t use anything too fancy to season this because I didn’t want the Goldfish to be overpowered.  Mush it all together for a while.  Here’s what that hot mess will look like as you’re mixing it:

The mix

Push it real good

Once it’s nicely mixed up, take out the heated pan and make golf ball-sized balls of the meat mush and put them on the pan, at least an inch apart.  And wash your hands once in a while, will ya?

Look at those beauties

Look at those beauties

Put ’em in the oven and bake for like 13 minutes, and then take ’em out and flip ’em and put ’em back in for another 5 or so.  Be sure that Salt-N-Pepa is still playing.  Here’s a thrilling picture of me flipping them over:


OK it’s been a few minutes.. do they look done?  Good, now take out the pan and cut one of the balls in half and make sure its cooked all the way through so you don’t kill yourself from eating frikkin’ undercooked Goldfish meatballs.  That would be a sad/amazing obituary.

These look done, right?

These look done, right?

You can see the Goldfish bits in there!  Hohooo!  Now I’m getting excited.  Before I slathered the marinara sauce (oh yeah, you should’ve been heating your sauce, my bad) and parmesan cheese onto the meatballs, I wanted to taste one as-is to see if the Goldfish taste came through. It kiiiinda did.  Maybe if you put more Goldfish crumbs in there you could taste it more, but these only had a very slight taste of it.  There’s a fix though!  In addition to pouring on the heated sauce and a dash of parmesan, sprinkle some of the leftover Goldfish crumbs on top.  Once you do, it’s a thing of beauty:



Now THAT’s a Goldfishy meatball!  Everything actually goes pretty well together.  Maybe throw a few whole Goldfish on there for presentation too.  Voila!  There’s your Goldfish meatballs.  Let me know what you think!  Maybe make some pasta too so you’re not just eating Goldfish and beef for dinner (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).

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